Day 5 of 47

Video update and new song. Hope you like it! :)

Day 1 of 47

Today's my first day of shameless self-promotion. I have from friends and family so far made it $45 closer to my $6,000 goal. But hey, its a start. Also my youtube video jumped from 10 to 60 views in one day. I know this isn't terribly interesting, but hey it's a start. and for me, that's a lot. I feel like this project is giving me more hope and more drive. I'm glad that my dear friend Carissa kicked me in the butt and told me about these things. I have high hopes for it. An unforeseeable reaction to all of this is that I am actually reconnecting with tons of old friends, telling them about my project, and asking for their help. All of them were really kind and good and said they'd do what they could which is all I can ask for really, and I am so grateful to everyone already for showing their support.
In any case it's snowy out here, and one of my favourite people in the whole world (CHRISTOS) is returning from Cyprus in one week. I am so excited I am practically jumping out of my skin. I also found out that my friend from Middle School Katy Hume is still studying in Ireland and I would like to go visit her, as Ryanair tickets are only about 30 quid. My friend from High School, Emily is married and has had her first baby, who is doing fine, as well as my old friend Kiki. Wow, how things change huh? In any case, I'm sending all of my love to you all out there in the world. Please share it :)

Day 1 of 47 shout out

I've gone live

so my project is up. 47 days to go, and we shall see. SO please if you're following this blog, check out my project, show your support and share!
Love,
Abby
http://www.indiegogo.com/Abigail-the-Braves-Debut-first-adventures-LP-1?a=416721

Indiegogo Project

Over winter break I told my friend Carissa about my dream of doing an album, with musicians I chose to collaborate with, how I would go back to Palestine and Israel and just play with people. Because I felt in all honesty that it was my best asset in honest communication. Music is more succinct than words I often find. She then told me about Indiegogo. A way to raise money as a wholly independent artist to produce a good studio album, or at least a half-way decent one. I submitted my request and read the know-hows, I looked at other peoples', who were successful, sites and had to think analytically about how to get the word out. I really want to do this project. It's on my list of things to do before I die, to produce an album, I didn't know it was going to happen this way when I wrote it. So now I did my homework, called studios, got quotes, checked flight costs, checked professional CD printers, and  spoke with collaborators. It's all ready and now I'm just polishing it. I've been learning how to make myself look shiny on-line. Yesterday was the first step, as my friend Maria took some amazing photos of me. Here are some of them:

I thought that I would feel egotistical with photographs of myself, but Maria has worked magic, and it isn't just a photo of me, it's representing my music, and it's being worked with Maria's own form of paintbrush. Next all I have to do is make a video. I have to make that shiny too, I want this to happen so badly! To be able to create this would be such an amazing opportunity. 

much love,

Abby

Morning After

Some people like to wake up early, I just like to stay up until the morning after, when even the early risers are still asleep. The mist curls and cools like silver water threads drifting just above the ground waiting to offer you a moist embrace. The birds sing, the world is fresh, it looks and smells like a fresh page in a new notebook, morning afters. The sun, when I'm lucky, rises and the tangerine golds and umbers, and coral pinks leak onto the horizon as ink on a wet page, while the moon side of the sky stays stubbornly blue and violet.

My greatest fear is lobotomy closely followed by going blind,  loss of sight and loss of mind. What would I do if I could no longer appreciate a flower perfectly? What would I do if I couldn't breathe in everything these mornings have to offer? Thank god for my perfect eyes. Thank god. I can practice colour theory and associate colours with feelings and names. I can use these colours and associations to make paintings. Thank god for my mind. I love my mind, really, I love its dark beauty, it's heroic dichotomy. I love the way that it thinks, most of the time, in a form of poetry. And sometimes on the mornings after I might have seen a friend, and they will have said, they have never heard me speak truly before that day. The morning is past natural sleep, past levels of exhaustion, that's what most people here would say. I know sleep will come eventually, and I will rest, so I am not tired, merely incapable of keeping this voice hidden. This voice in my head babbling beautiful conglomerations of words.

sometimes it comes for days, never leaving, waiting for paper and pen, just waiting to explode. Sometimes I won't let them out to have their fun, then they throw a fit of confusion.

Music

Lots of people have been asking me what have I been doing with myself?
Victor Hugo once said that a man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought, but people don't seem to take that to heart. It's always harder being as stubborn as I am, it'd be easier to just throw the towel in, but it's already taken so much of my pride just to pay for an education that I could receive for free, to jump through the hoops, to do as I'm told. I feel like biting my tongue off to keep me from speaking, it just never works. I am me. I am loud, stubborn, and bursting with creative expression. In short, I can't keep anything to myself. What have I been doing?
I've been creating a band with some friends, I've been recording music, I've been writing music. I've been painting and writing plans about the way I think the world could change for the better. I'm no economist, but I don't think even they really know what is going on. Does anyone know what has been going on? I'd like to ask the men behind the curtain, the ones that must exist but we never see, 'what have YOU been doing with yourself?'. While their exploits, monetary gains, games and crippling elitism is viewed as socially acceptable. Why still isn't art? It's not 'work'. I would agree with them, as Hannah Arendt wrote in her book 'The Human Condition' there is a difference between labour and work. I would prefer Labour any day, by her definitions, a labour that simply fills me up past all reality, with focus and passion so severe that hours flash in dream-like stances in front of my eyes. What have you been doing?
Nothing. As usual.
I'm just continuing to dream for no reason, other than the sake of dreaming.

writing

I am an illogical being, my constructs are emotive, reactionary, not really owing much organisation to its conception. I am working on this, though I am going to have to try further in the future. I am no mastermind of politics, nor strategy, nor maths, I will never discover from particle accelerator nor buddha the nature of the universe. I am just a Siddhartha, waiting for the river to hum to me again the eloquence of the universe. In order to get good scores on my essays I must work harder on summary and fact, rather than my own response. Being creative is such a drag sometimes.

There's a light

it's not much light, but it beats the darkness,
most of the time.
and when it doesn't I'm sure as hell
fighting
to see it fly.

oh there is a light
but it isn't above you
or next you
or below
it radiates beneath your brow,
it consumates beneath your breast,

have you seen it?
do you even know it?
waiting in silence for you to see it.

what glorious creation
this light of mine
that I can see and show
if I want to,

only an inch of peace
only an inch
but space doesn't make sense
there, you know
and time is just a game
we play.

A.G.